Yes, Another Teen Movie (Soundtrack)!

Say what you will about their cinematic quality, but teen movies have always had elite soundtracks. Let's recapture that nostalgia with some new music.

Growing up in the ‘90s, I’m not embarrassed to say that movie soundtracks were one of my biggest sources of music discovery.

Some of those movies were genuinely good, or at least have some cult status now — I’m thinking of Pump Up the Volume, or Empire Records, or maybe The Crow.¹

But being honest, the bulk of the ‘90s (and early 2000s) movies I’m talking about were teen movies.

Trope-heavy, maudlin teen movies where 30-somethings played high school freshmen, the smart girls were always hot, and every relationship problem could have been solved with just the tiniest bit of communication.

But the music! The music was a 10 out of 10 every time.²

Yes, another teen movie (soundtrack)!

Many thanks to everyone who joined the chat yesterday for helping me pull together these teen movie archetypes!

Below, I lay out some of the most iconic teen movie tropes and the songs that best represented them back in the day, then give you a few new songs that have the same vibe.

I recruited

Shanté

to help out here and there, because she writes the phenomenal newsletter a filmless score, where she cranks out imaginary soundtracks on the regular.

Six Classic Teen Movie Tropes

The music that brought them to life back then, and the new music that will make you relive them now.

1. The Queen Bees Stomp Down the School Hallway

The true embodiment of “main character energy,” queen bees aren’t necessarily mean girls, but it definitely helps when they are. They’re always best dressed, and they always have a theme song (or several) to strut to in slow motion.

I needed something new that embodied the swagger of Kelis’ “Milkshake”, Imperial Teen’s “Yoo Hoo,” and Letters to Cleo’s “Dangerous Type”³ without necessarily sounding like them.

~~new music to try on~~

• corinne bailey rae - new york transit queen⁴

  (a little bit on the karen o. side, but it works.)

• black honey - shallow

  (this one might actually be perfect.)

For more:

main character energy

2. Leading Man Realizes “Ugly” Lead is Hot When She Takes Off Her Glasses

Or takes down her ponytail. Whichever.

Boys are so easy to trick! And the songs that play in the background while their jaws drop to the floor are just golden.

Who doesn’t love Freddie Prinze Jr.’s dopey-ass stare while Rachael Leigh Cook walks down the stairs in her new totally unrecognizable look in She’s All That?⁵

I’ll never be able to replicate the heavy lifting that Sixpence None the Richer does here, but I’ll take a stab at it.

~~new music to try on~~

• taffy - prism 45

  (yep, i’ve recommended it before, and it’s here again because of its uncanny similarity to “kiss me.” you missed it last time, anyway!)

• thelma plum - homecoming queen

  (oh sorry, is this TOO ON THE NOSE?!)

3. This Entire Heartbreak Could Have Been Solved With Simple Communication

I for one think it was a genius move to base so many teen movies on Shakespeare plays (or Jane Austen novels, I guess). Oh, the delightful mishaps! The lamentable and completely avoidable heartache that could all have been avoided if the leading man hadn’t tried to woo the leading lady by means of some complicated, gambling-based plot device!

Obviously the sheer drama of it all can’t go without some seriously mournful musical backdrop. Samantha Ronson’s “Built This Way.” Counting Crows’ “Colorblind.” Something for throwing yourself on the couch violently and screaming, “IS THERE NO PITY SITTING IN THE CLOUDS THAT SEES INTO THE BOTTOM OF MY GRIEF?!”⁶

~~new music to try on~~

• hayley
  williams - negative self talk

  (i think there’s something poetic about paramore’s frontwoman lending some tearful backdrop to our would-be teen movie here.)

• snail mail - valentine

  (again, it’s almost too perfect. “why’d you wanna erase me?/darling valentine/you always know where to find me/when you change your mind.”)

4. The Makeover Montage

I live for a good makeover scene. Don’t pretend you’re not the same way; there’s a reason there are entire reality shows based around this concept.

Sometimes the makeover is super satisfying:

Sometimes the makeover montage is creepy as fuck:

Sometimes it’s bittersweet:

But there’s always a perfect song to mark the transformation. Nothing will top Jill Sobule’s “Supermodel,” but we’ll give it a whirl.

~~new music to try on~~

• potty mouth - smash hit

  (to be honest i think i built the entire playlist and article around this one song. just imagine cher horowitz going through her remote control operated wardrobe to this song instead of bowie’s “fashion”.)

• chappell roan - super graphic ultra modern girl

  (it’s cheating to pick a chappell roan song, isn’t it? ok, ok, i’ll give you one extra.)

• magdalena bay - image

  (“meet your brand new image” indeed. it’s also a catwalk-ready pop song.)

5. Everyone At This Party Knows The Choreography

Forgive me — I had to go back to the ‘80s for this example. It was either that or share another clip from She’s All That, the one where they do the Rockefeller Skank at prom because R&B legend Usher taught them how.

Even when they weren’t cheerleading, you can rest assured that every teenager 25+ years ago was always ready to break out into a fully realized dance routine.

Trust me — I was there! I think it had something to do with all the boy groups we had at the time.

Anyway, I guess K-Pop is probably the best modern answer to this, but I’m not a connoisseur.

~~new music to try on~~

• channel tres - cactus water
  (groovy, baby. plus those double hand claps really sell the theoretical dance routine.)

• revival season - pump
  (oh nooo another repeated recommendation… oh well, it’s another perfect fit. get excited about hip hop again.)

For more:

the posse

6. The Occult Slumber Party

I know what you’re thinking. What slumber party wasn’t an occult slumber party? And you’re right. All of mine had ouija boards and poltergeists, certainly.

The best example of this is the “light as a feather, stiff as a board” scene in The Craft, which of course didn’t have any music accompanying it. For the effect.

But the movie had some truly phenomenal mood music generally, all of which would have fit nicely in this kind of scene. I’m going to focus in on what I think were the standouts: extra creepy covers of already creepy songs.

The Craft had a few I thought were exceptionally strong: Our Lady Peace covering The Beatles’ “Tomorrow Never Knows,” and of course the quintessential Love Spit Love cover of the Smiths’ “How Soon is Now?”.

Goosebumps.

~~new music to try on~~

• megan mcduffee - #1 crush

  (a dark synthwave cover of garbage’s already quite dark hit. i’m loving the interpretation.)

• nite - burn

  (extra points here for the cure’s original version being on the aforementioned crow soundtrack.)

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER TROPES I’M MISSING.

The “playboy” who turns out to be a virgin.

The “I can change him!” bad boy with a heart of gold.

The end of movie revenge plot.

You’ve got to name them for me so I can fill them in with new song recommendations (or offer your own, of course!). And obviously feel free to go crazy with movies that break decade and genre; as long as the inspiration had a good soundtrack, I’m game.

Paid subscribers, stay tuned for a playlist later this week!

xo

Gabbie

@melissakristintvIn every early 2000s teen drama, there HAD to be that moment where the popular girls would walk slow-mo in a horizontal line (blocking the whole hallway) while “hot girl” music played! It was a law of the times. 😂 #early2000s #nostalgia #millennials #populargirls #meangirls #fyp

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1. I feel I owe it to all the Gen Xers reading this to say that yes of course I watched and loved all of the John Hughes movies, and the glory that was Heathers, and probably every other movie you’ll sass me in the comments for missing but won’t actually have been a teen movie at all probably. BUT there was a special sort of absurdity that featured in the teen movies of my youth, and that’s what I’m discussing today.

2. The nostalgia for this era is so intense, I still expect dramatic plot development to unfold every time I hear The Cranberries’ “Dreams” playing somewhere out in the world. Since not all of these are teen movies, I felt the need to tuck these into a footnote, but I can’t just not mention them!

3. Seriously, was Kay Hanley not THE absolute queen of ‘90s teen movies or…???

4. I don’t know why I started writing these sections in lower case. I got bored.

5. The best part is that she immediately trips, because the screenwriters must remind the audience that she is just a normal awkward girl, tee hee!

6. That’s Romeo and Juliet, Act III scene V. In case you thought I was super clever for a second.